Justin
ended his class by stating that we would get evangelistic studies 90% of
the time if we do two things: “build relationships” and “ask them to study”. Why are both of these things important?
Building relationships is crucial because the house/temple/body we are being built into (Eph. 4:1-6 cf. 11-16) is one that is founded upon healthy relationships. First, Christ restored ours with God and He is now in the process of helping us to restore relationships with others. Ours is a ministry of reconciliation (II Cor.5:11-21) which is about building and restoring relationships at every level and if we are living that out, people will understand the purpose of the One we serve. Asking them to study then becomes a natural outworking of our desire to see relationships restored fully. And people need, and want relationships. People are constantly bombarded by advertisers trying to sell them things they don’t want. They are wary of being seen as a market to be exploited. I feel we should cease with the sales approach; stop trying to sell something the world doesn’t want and instead be what the world needs. People need to see that Christ is as essential as the air they breathe, which is something they aren’t forced to purchase (yet). His life is the very life that should give us breath also and building relationships and studying His Word should be as natural to us as it was to Him.
Well said. And, yes, we should stop trying to "sell" Jesus to the world and be what the world needs. This is so important and fundamental but then at some point we need to speak a good word about Jesus. Perhaps if we were what the world is looking for they would ask us instead of us asking them.
Sales people don't seem genuine, and I know personally if someone seemed to be trying to sell me Jesus I would want to reject it. Also, sales people act like they care about you when really they only care about their product. We don't want people thinking we only care about Jesus, but that we care about them as well. Selling as opposed to building relationships would make me much more keen. The need for Jesus should be as needed as the air we breathe. I really like that analogy. There is nothing better than having healthy relationships with people that are founded on Jesus. By founding our relationships on Jesus studying the word and talking about the word would flow perfectly.
“Building relationship” and “invite them” are both important to a successful evangelism because people yearn for a sense of belonging. People are looking ways to make connections, form relationships and share their personal stories. By creating close bonds between two people, it is easier for us to ask them to study and to carry out the mission of God into the world. Relationship provides a place where people connect and build trust; friendship grows deeper; people support one another in crisis; there is personal accountability. Introverts like me need to discover the communication tools that can be used… develop and use it to interact with others. Often it might involve writing instead of talking. Maybe, just being there for them… ready to listen with an open ear and share ideas without feeling threatened. However, we need to be aware that in evangelism, we need to shift the direction of focus off ourselves and unto God. Our role is to point people’s focus toward God, not toward us… then we step out of the way and let God do his work.
You are so right, Dea. I think there are lots more of us introverts in this world than extroverts. Listening is so important in developing and building relationships. And, yes, lets point others to God. Thanks.
Firstly let me respond by saying how great it is to be in conversation with you and Bonnie Dea. I am glad that you brought up our fear of rejection and our need for developing communication skills as mastering these seems a huge part of our journey in faith. From a young age we learn that the way we communicate has a huge bearing on whether we are accepted or not, and often when we are rejected because of what we say we become fearful of saying anything at all (I suffer this problem as well). But when relationships exist in an environment where a fear of rejection isn’t present (as we should now feel with God), involving Him in our conversations can become a way reinforcing our own, and others courage, that the relationships are secure (especially ours in Him). Where would we be without Personal Development?
I understand the part about being an introvert. It can make making relationships harder at times. A lot of the times though the relationships will come about naturally. It's also true that people are seeking to belong somewhere and to form bonds with others. Building trust with one another is a huge part of sharing the gospel. Sharing about ourselves and how Jesus has impacted us is a great way to make others (hopefully) feel more comfortable, if we can let our guard down then they may feel more free to do so also.
I appreciate your comments about introvertedness. I am also an introvert. And I suffer a lot even at the thought of having to socialize with people. BUT I want to encourage us, introverts, to never use our nature as an excuse of not getting involved in people's lives. As David said some time last week, being introvert means that we get recharged by being by ourselves. But there must be times when we interact with others. I think what I'm trying to say is that we need to be intentional about building relationship with certain people. We may not be able to know everyone. But we can make it our goal to take our relationship with everyone that we know to the deepest level possible.
Dea, I agree with what you said that “People are looking ways to make connections, form relationships and share their personal stories.” We humans are social beings. Our need for social interaction is innate. Relationships are important for human functioning and well-being. Having known about this will serve as an edge for us in reaching to others for Christ. Many conversions happened because they were connected and have a relationship with somebody who is in Christ. Truly that it is in the context of genuine relationship that people give their trust, confidence and as well as their consent to be invited to study God’s Word.
I think that both of these things are important because they are genuine. Like Peter said previously, going and trying to sell Jesus to the world won't work. Instead we need to be Jesus. Jesus made relationships with people. Justin also said that diving into peoples messes will get messy (I think he's the one who said this). Which is true, and difficult, because the natural desire is to take care of our selves since we have enough problems as it is. Yet, building relationships is an out working of Jesus' love. When we have a relationship with someone then an invitation would just be the next step. I think everyone likes to be invited to things so we need to put ourselves into their shoes and try to see it from their perspective. An invitation shows we care and are actually interested in them.
Yay Telah! A new person to respond to! I really like what you said/repeated about dealing with people being messy. It is, and often when I have tried to dive into other’s messes, without having taken the time to develop a trusting relationship, I have noticed I’ve actually made matters messier (the opposite, naturally, of what I was attempting). Yet even when trying to help others I do know well, this still manages to happen (maybe I need a new vocation). I liked what David talked about last night that sometimes people are just looking to unload their problems onto someone else. We do have to be careful not to hinder progress by offering to carry what someone can carry themselves, because then we do end up adding to theirs, and our mess (we’re all pretty messed up). Good relationship is required to determine whether someone can carry their problem, but when we share the gospel with those we know who don’t have much in the way of good news, we actually provide a ray of hope, that one day they may be able to carry their own burdens, even if they are unable to do so presently (Gal.6:1-4). I love the way that the gospel provides a better way and hope for everyone. Let’s get to encouraging better relationships (Col.3:9-17).
Yes, I think it was Justin who said getting involved with people will be messy because people are messy. Just look at the mess Jesus got himself into when he got involved in people's lives. There is no way around pursuing genuine relationships with people is necessary to bring them to Jesus given where most people are at today in their post-modern world. Relationships take time, trust takes time. Evangelism will take time.
We are christian. Our mission is sharing the gospel and making disciples. People are our target to fulfill the mission, so we need to go to see/know more people. But this is not enough, the easy way to do the evangelism is with the close people. And need to develop the relationship to build up the intimate relationship, we should care others by heart, which need more time to understand to know each other. After we have the intimate relationship, it would be easy to invite them to share our time, our stories, our works, and our mission. They would be easy to accept us, support us and follow us.
It takes time and effort to build successful and positive relationships. Sometimes we must put the needs of others before our own needs. But such can create an environment where people feel that their needs and feelings are being taken care of –genuinely / by heart. Yes, after we build positive relationship, then it is easier to invite people.
You are correct in seeing that seeing and knowing more people is not enough but that we have to get close to people and develop genuine relationships. We create a bond of trust so that others will not only listen to what we have to say but maybe change their lives.
It is indeed takes a lot of time, effort, money and emotions when you build up relationships with anybody. Yes, there are heaps of chances that the one you have relationship with will become a follower of Jesus. But sometimes all these that we invested with a person will not yield the end result that we expected: that he /she will put his/her allegiance to the Lord Jesus. Building relationship is a better way of getting evangelistic studies but it’s not the only way.
To get or have evangelistic studies, I agree that both are important. I experienced this during the time when I was in full-time ministry. I had evangelistic studies because either I had a personal relationship with the person I was studying the Bible with or he/she is somebody introduced and referred to me by a person whom they trust. It is so true that many people can be reached only at a personal level through a relationship with someone whom they trust and respect. By building trustful and genuine relationships that is unconditional with persons referred to us, and caring for situations in which they show an openness for God will lead them to care and to be open to what we believe. This process of getting evangelistic studies can take a long time and yes longer time when we do not “ask them to study” with us. Sometimes we got stalled in building up relationships and failed to go to the next level – to ask them to study, because perhaps we are afraid to lose the relationship or because we lack the “know how” of studying with them. We will not know their response if it is a “Yes” or a “No” until we ask. Their hearts might be ready to put their allegiance to the Lord Jesus but nobody ask, not even their closest mate. Nike slogan reminds us to “just do it.” Let us ask them to study (in casual, chillax, laid back, informal, non-threatening manner). If it is a “No,” in a relational context, a real friend can take it and will put up with us on our invitation to study, as we also put up with them on their weaknesses and offense/s to us.
People are made for relationships. As much of a loner as one is, it is impossible not to feel the need to connect with another person in life. Genuine relationship tends to bring trust and reliance. And this is why it is important for us to share the Gospel by building relationship first and foremost. As everyone else has said, the truth of God is not a catch phrase where we can say it and hope for people to buy it in a second. Because the plan of salvation is more than just a fix to our final destination (believe and go to heaven), time invested in getting to know each other, in listening, in caring for their needs is necessary. I think a lot of us are good at this. But Justin had a point when he challenges us to ask them to study. We can be excellent in building relationship but without really reflecting on what God's word says and going through the bible together, a person may not really grasp the understanding of the plan of salvation at all. We may end up being just a good person in their neighborhood. Having good relationship and responding to people's need is something every Christian should do. But we have to keep in mind that anyone can also do that too. What makes us different from anyone else is God's truth. That's why we need both.
Building relationships is crucial because the house/temple/body we are being built into (Eph. 4:1-6 cf. 11-16) is one that is founded upon healthy relationships. First, Christ restored ours with God and He is now in the process of helping us to restore relationships with others. Ours is a ministry of reconciliation (II Cor.5:11-21) which is about building and restoring relationships at every level and if we are living that out, people will understand the purpose of the One we serve. Asking them to study then becomes a natural outworking of our desire to see relationships restored fully. And people need, and want relationships. People are constantly bombarded by advertisers trying to sell them things they don’t want. They are wary of being seen as a market to be exploited. I feel we should cease with the sales approach; stop trying to sell something the world doesn’t want and instead be what the world needs. People need to see that Christ is as essential as the air they breathe, which is something they aren’t forced to purchase (yet). His life is the very life that should give us breath also and building relationships and studying His Word should be as natural to us as it was to Him.
ReplyDeleteWell said. And, yes, we should stop trying to "sell" Jesus to the world and be what the world needs. This is so important and fundamental but then at some point we need to speak a good word about Jesus. Perhaps if we were what the world is looking for they would ask us instead of us asking them.
DeleteSales people don't seem genuine, and I know personally if someone seemed to be trying to sell me Jesus I would want to reject it. Also, sales people act like they care about you when really they only care about their product. We don't want people thinking we only care about Jesus, but that we care about them as well. Selling as opposed to building relationships would make me much more keen. The need for Jesus should be as needed as the air we breathe. I really like that analogy. There is nothing better than having healthy relationships with people that are founded on Jesus. By founding our relationships on Jesus studying the word and talking about the word would flow perfectly.
Delete“Building relationship” and “invite them” are both important to a successful evangelism because people yearn for a sense of belonging. People are looking ways to make connections, form relationships and share their personal stories. By creating close bonds between two people, it is easier for us to ask them to study and to carry out the mission of God into the world. Relationship provides a place where people connect and build trust; friendship grows deeper; people support one another in crisis; there is personal accountability. Introverts like me need to discover the communication tools that can be used… develop and use it to interact with others. Often it might involve writing instead of talking. Maybe, just being there for them… ready to listen with an open ear and share ideas without feeling threatened. However, we need to be aware that in evangelism, we need to shift the direction of focus off ourselves and unto God. Our role is to point people’s focus toward God, not toward us… then we step out of the way and let God do his work.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Dea. I think there are lots more of us introverts in this world than extroverts. Listening is so important in developing and building relationships. And, yes, lets point others to God. Thanks.
DeleteFirstly let me respond by saying how great it is to be in conversation with you and Bonnie Dea. I am glad that you brought up our fear of rejection and our need for developing communication skills as mastering these seems a huge part of our journey in faith. From a young age we learn that the way we communicate has a huge bearing on whether we are accepted or not, and often when we are rejected because of what we say we become fearful of saying anything at all (I suffer this problem as well). But when relationships exist in an environment where a fear of rejection isn’t present (as we should now feel with God), involving Him in our conversations can become a way reinforcing our own, and others courage, that the relationships are secure (especially ours in Him). Where would we be without Personal Development?
DeleteI understand the part about being an introvert. It can make making relationships harder at times. A lot of the times though the relationships will come about naturally. It's also true that people are seeking to belong somewhere and to form bonds with others. Building trust with one another is a huge part of sharing the gospel. Sharing about ourselves and how Jesus has impacted us is a great way to make others (hopefully) feel more comfortable, if we can let our guard down then they may feel more free to do so also.
DeleteI appreciate your comments about introvertedness. I am also an introvert. And I suffer a lot even at the thought of having to socialize with people. BUT I want to encourage us, introverts, to never use our nature as an excuse of not getting involved in people's lives. As David said some time last week, being introvert means that we get recharged by being by ourselves. But there must be times when we interact with others. I think what I'm trying to say is that we need to be intentional about building relationship with certain people. We may not be able to know everyone. But we can make it our goal to take our relationship with everyone that we know to the deepest level possible.
DeleteDea, I agree with what you said that “People are looking ways to make connections, form relationships and share their personal stories.” We humans are social beings. Our need for social interaction is innate. Relationships are important for human functioning and well-being. Having known about this will serve as an edge for us in reaching to others for Christ. Many conversions happened because they were connected and have a relationship with somebody who is in Christ. Truly that it is in the context of genuine relationship that people give their trust, confidence and as well as their consent to be invited to study God’s Word.
DeleteI think that both of these things are important because they are genuine. Like Peter said previously, going and trying to sell Jesus to the world won't work. Instead we need to be Jesus. Jesus made relationships with people. Justin also said that diving into peoples messes will get messy (I think he's the one who said this). Which is true, and difficult, because the natural desire is to take care of our selves since we have enough problems as it is. Yet, building relationships is an out working of Jesus' love. When we have a relationship with someone then an invitation would just be the next step. I think everyone likes to be invited to things so we need to put ourselves into their shoes and try to see it from their perspective. An invitation shows we care and are actually interested in them.
ReplyDeleteYay Telah! A new person to respond to! I really like what you said/repeated about dealing with people being messy. It is, and often when I have tried to dive into other’s messes, without having taken the time to develop a trusting relationship, I have noticed I’ve actually made matters messier (the opposite, naturally, of what I was attempting). Yet even when trying to help others I do know well, this still manages to happen (maybe I need a new vocation). I liked what David talked about last night that sometimes people are just looking to unload their problems onto someone else. We do have to be careful not to hinder progress by offering to carry what someone can carry themselves, because then we do end up adding to theirs, and our mess (we’re all pretty messed up). Good relationship is required to determine whether someone can carry their problem, but when we share the gospel with those we know who don’t have much in the way of good news, we actually provide a ray of hope, that one day they may be able to carry their own burdens, even if they are unable to do so presently (Gal.6:1-4). I love the way that the gospel provides a better way and hope for everyone. Let’s get to encouraging better relationships (Col.3:9-17).
DeleteYes, I think it was Justin who said getting involved with people will be messy because people are messy. Just look at the mess Jesus got himself into when he got involved in people's lives. There is no way around pursuing genuine relationships with people is necessary to bring them to Jesus given where most people are at today in their post-modern world. Relationships take time, trust takes time. Evangelism will take time.
DeleteWe are christian. Our mission is sharing the gospel and making disciples. People are our target to fulfill the mission, so we need to go to see/know more people. But this is not enough, the easy way to do the evangelism is with the close people. And need to develop the relationship to build up the intimate relationship, we should care others by heart, which need more time to understand to know each other. After we have the intimate relationship, it would be easy to invite them to share our time, our stories, our works, and our mission. They would be easy to accept us, support us and follow us.
ReplyDeleteIt takes time and effort to build successful and positive relationships. Sometimes we must put the needs of others before our own needs. But such can create an environment where people feel that their needs and feelings are being taken care of –genuinely / by heart. Yes, after we build positive relationship, then it is easier to invite people.
DeleteYou are correct in seeing that seeing and knowing more people is not enough but that we have to get close to people and develop genuine relationships. We create a bond of trust so that others will not only listen to what we have to say but maybe change their lives.
DeleteIt is indeed takes a lot of time, effort, money and emotions when you build up relationships with anybody. Yes, there are heaps of chances that the one you have relationship with will become a follower of Jesus. But sometimes all these that we invested with a person will not yield the end result that we expected: that he /she will put his/her allegiance to the Lord Jesus. Building relationship is a better way of getting evangelistic studies but it’s not the only way.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTo get or have evangelistic studies, I agree that both are important. I experienced this during the time when I was in full-time ministry. I had evangelistic studies because either I had a personal relationship with the person I was studying the Bible with or he/she is somebody introduced and referred to me by a person whom they trust. It is so true that many people can be reached only at a personal level through a relationship with someone whom they trust and respect. By building trustful and genuine relationships that is unconditional with persons referred to us, and caring for situations in which they show an openness for God will lead them to care and to be open to what we believe. This process of getting evangelistic studies can take a long time and yes longer time when we do not “ask them to study” with us. Sometimes we got stalled in building up relationships and failed to go to the next level – to ask them to study, because perhaps we are afraid to lose the relationship or because we lack the “know how” of studying with them. We will not know their response if it is a “Yes” or a “No” until we ask. Their hearts might be ready to put their allegiance to the Lord Jesus but nobody ask, not even their closest mate. Nike slogan reminds us to “just do it.” Let us ask them to study (in casual, chillax, laid back, informal, non-threatening manner). If it is a “No,” in a relational context, a real friend can take it and will put up with us on our invitation to study, as we also put up with them on their weaknesses and offense/s to us.
ReplyDeletePeople are made for relationships. As much of a loner as one is, it is impossible not to feel the need to connect with another person in life. Genuine relationship tends to bring trust and reliance. And this is why it is important for us to share the Gospel by building relationship first and foremost. As everyone else has said, the truth of God is not a catch phrase where we can say it and hope for people to buy it in a second. Because the plan of salvation is more than just a fix to our final destination (believe and go to heaven), time invested in getting to know each other, in listening, in caring for their needs is necessary. I think a lot of us are good at this. But Justin had a point when he challenges us to ask them to study. We can be excellent in building relationship but without really reflecting on what God's word says and going through the bible together, a person may not really grasp the understanding of the plan of salvation at all. We may end up being just a good person in their neighborhood. Having good relationship and responding to people's need is something every Christian should do. But we have to keep in mind that anyone can also do that too. What makes us different from anyone else is God's truth. That's why we need both.
ReplyDelete